The Missing Step
I’m going to go ahead and assume that you are dedicated to improving your life in some way or other,(because you’re here!) and with that assumption I’m also going to say that you’ve implemented some changes-maybe very recently, or maybe years ago. Deciding we want to change, creating a strategy to accomplish that change, and then following through on it, step by step, is necessary to get to where we want to be.
If that’s all we ever do, though, we might never get to where we want to be. What if the strategy we chose isn’t working? What if a different strategy could get us results in half the time? I was reminded of the fourth step in creating change while listening to an interview with a super successful online marketer the other day- the review step. The one where we look at the results we’re getting- or not getting!
Doing that sounds absolutely obvious, but as I was listening to the interview I so clearly saw how I’d failed to do this step SO MANY TIMES in the past year! I also saw how much money I could have saved myself by being diligent about reviewing my results. Way more money than I care to admit! Now that’s incentive to make sure I always remember to review my efforts frequently from here on in!
It’s not just me- I remember so many times in my career as a massage therapist listening to clients with chronic problems tell me how they’ve been going to the physio for two years, or doing their stretches every day, as if that means they should be healed. It didn’t even occur to them that it was time to try a new strategy, as that one obviously wasn’t giving great results!
Another benefit of the review step is that it keeps you engaged in your project, building more momentum than if you weren’t checking in. There’s a saying that what we track increases, and I’ve certainly found this to be true for me. When I keep track of my workouts, or my nutrition, it all improves. When I keep track of my finances, they get better. Maybe I should start keeping track of amazing, funny, motivated, kind MEN and see where that gets me!
I’m glad this has come to my attention now. Taking the time to evaluate my progress is very empowering, and that carries over into all parts of my life. I like how I feel when I’m on top of things, and taking care of business. I have definitely had the bad habit sometimes of avoiding looking at things like finances, or business details, if they weren’t doing well. The good old ostrich trick- which we all know does not work!
I have a call with my coach today- I adore Tony Robbins and his work, and have invested in one of his coaches. Talking with her on our calls forces me to review, and I’m getting much better at this new habit. If you’re not one of those people who regularly looks at your goals, and how effectively you’re moving toward them, then I’m glad you’re reading this! Do it today, that critical review step. I think you’ll find that you’re more excited and focused about whatever it is you’re working towards once you do!
Tony Robbins calls it net time- no extra time- time. When you’re driving, or tidying up the house, for example. Things that need to be done and take time- but the kind of time that you can also use to be improving in the ways that you want to be by learning.
My latest favorite tool for this is the Audible app. It’s an app that downloads talking books, which you can then listen to anywhere whether you’ve got a wifi connection or not. The subscription costs abut fifteen dollars a month, and gives you a monthly free credit. One credit gets you any book you choose, and you’ve then got it forever. Anything excellent that’s worth listening to once, is worth listening to again, I figure. Once your credit for the month is used you can always purchase books at varying prices.
I mostly use the app for education/personal development books, but last winter when I found myself without a fiction book to read right before falling asleep and wanting one, I decided to have a talking story instead. Adults- this is the bomb! Remember being a little kid and loving storytime? Someone else did all the work, and you got to let your imagination fill in the details…well, welcome back to that!
I’ve got books like Think and Grow Rich, Psychocybernetics, Sell or Be Sold, and You Were Born Rich in my Audible library so far. Books with ideas that I want to hear over and over again so I eventually just live them automatically. I listen to them while doing cardio at the gym, while driving, when I’m toodling around the house, in airports and on planes.
Since I heard that phrase from Tony, I’ve realized just how much extra time we all really do have! Most people absolutely waste it by filling their minds with trivia about some celebrity in Los Angeles, or worrying about what might go wrong five years down the road. It’s been years since I got into this habit of feeding my mind, and I’m so very grateful for all of the beautiful, helpful, and yes,life changing! content I’ve had the pleasure of taking in.
Time is all we have, really. How we use our time becomes our story, it turns into what we’ve lived. I adore filling my time right up with more experiences, more joy, more intelligent conversations, more fun, more of all the good juice that makes me vibrant and exuberant and happy.
Check out the Audible app-I’m sure you’ll find something that interests you too!https://www.audible.com
Fasting, without the fast…
Intermittent fasting is a hot topic these days, with a lot of research coming out that shows benefits in almost every area of study-from ageing to MS to weight loss… cancer, you name it. Very basically, the term intermittent fasting defines a manner of eating and fasting in cycles. It could be one day of eating followed by one day of fasting, for example, but most people keep the cycle to a 24 hour period.
We all do this to some degree, when we sleep, which is the time when the body regenerates, heals, and detoxifies. It makes total sense, then, that extending the break from eating beyond our sleeping hours could enhance these processes even more. That appears to be exactly the case, judging by the results coming in from the scientific community.
Fasting in this way gives the body the experience of a fast or cleanse, while at the same time maintaining an adequate caloric intake. Severely restricted calorie programs are not sustainable, and are ultimately very harmful to the body and the psyche. Problems that arise from this include increased stress levels, a damaged metabolic system, and loss of muscle mass.
Bear in mind that the odd cleanse or fast can be very healing and at times necessary- but that is very different from prolonged severe caloric restriction.
Lose fat, keep the muscle
Intermittent fasting is one of many dietary approaches used by people who are looking to transform their bodies, like actors preparing for a role, bodybuilders, or fitness models. It’s become such a favorite because it’s so easily do-able, and it really does encourage the body to drop the fat while putting on more muscle.
In case any of you ladies out there are thinking you don’t want more muscle- think again! Muscle gives your body a more beautiful, toned shape than being skinny, in addition to benefiting your overall health in too many ways to even start mentioning in this article! You’ll have to read up on it in one of my other blurbs, or take my word for it.
How I do it
I like to have about an eight hour window every day when I consume all my meals. The most recent information I’ve come across recommends having your eating time be later on in the day, to really get the best benefits in terms of fat loss/muscle gains. I’ve always naturally eaten my biggest meal late-8 or 9 or even later, and I’m rarely inclined to eat in the mornings, so this fits in with my body perfectly.
When I’m really sticking to it, I notice my digestion is way better, I never miss a morning poop, and my belly is less prone to being bloated. I’ve also always become leaner and the times when I’ve done body composition scans I’ve also put on muscle mass. The last time I did this, I was doing a 14-17 hour fast daily, and in three weeks I put on one pound of muscle while taking off just over one pound of fat.
I will have a coffee in the morning after drinking water, and won’t eat until noon or 12:30 at the earliest. My last meal will be around 8, and is usually the biggest of the day. In between those two meals I’ll have one or two other meals, depending on the day. This schedule satisfies my natural craving to eat a bigger meal at night, when most of the hard work of the day is done, and I’m in relax mode. I also find that eating in the mornings can make me feel sluggish and tired, and can disturb my stomach as well.
You’ve got nothing to lose by giving this a shot! If you find that you feel awful-just stop. What works magic for one person might be totally wrong for you, so be aware and be flexible-not just with this but in everything you try.
There’s a great app called Zero, which is totally free and has a ton of great information for you. It also shows you what’s going on in the body during your hours of fasting.
I’ll put a link here which takes you to a video discussing time restricted eating and some of the effects seen by researchers:
I’m sure now that I’ve whet your appetite you will find loads more information about this! After revisiting the idea of it I know that I’m totally inspired to get back on my program and find out just how great my body can look and feel after a few months of putting in a good honest effort.
Drop me a line and let me know what’s working for you these days, in terms of your health and fitness! I’m always open to learning new stuff. To your happiness, Lynda
In exactly the same way that I enjoy real, beautiful, healthy food way more than junk food, I also enjoy and crave beautiful thoughts and input for my mind. My body feels amazing and vital because I eat the way I do, and I swear my brain physically feels the energy of whatever I am watching or listening to. As you can imagine, I don’t spend too much time- ie: NONE!-watching tv, the news, scrolling through Facebook, etc. Not only do I find it a complete waste of my time, but it feels like garbage to me.
I don’t want garbage in my body, and I sure don’t want it in my thoughts either. Not to say I won’t watch a great action movie every now and then, or something super funny, but the majority of my watching/listening time is definitely devoted to learning, researching, growing as a person- that kind of thing. Last winter I got into the habit of listening to a guided meditation every day, and enjoyed these particular ones so much that I thought I’d pass them along.
This first one is a Bob Proctor meditation. I love the way he words things, and some of the statements have become little incantations that I’ll do on my morning walk.
After that one I got hooked on Dr. Joe Dispenza’s stuff and this meditation:
And lately, this one from Dr. Wayne Dyer. It’s super long, and after the first ten minutes or so of talking it’s all sounds and music, so I put it on when I go to bed and just fall asleep to it.
This last one is from Tony Robbins. It’s actually an exercise that he does at his Unleash the Power Within workshops. I attended the event in San Jose in March this year,and it actually was just like this video. It is one huge party for three days! If you do this one- make sure you DO it! Play all out. Pour your emotions into it, that’s where the greatest power lies, and the greatest results.
Whether these resonate with you like they do for me or not, make sure to feed your mind the good stuff, every day!
I’ve developed a theory about hard times in the past few years, and it goes like this:
Human beings NEED hard times, and if we aren’t given them through circumstances, we will always find a way to create them for ourselves.
We need times of great difficulty throughout our lives in exactly the same way that we need the physical developmental stages as we’re babies and small children, like learning to pull ourselves up and walk, for example. That process places load-bearing stress on our bodies so our bones develop properly. All the struggling only increases the strength and encourages perfect alignment and functioning.
We all know the story- the person who has it all, the wealth and opportunities, the good looks, the raw talent, you name it. And what do they do with it? Not always, and hopefully not forever, but almost invariably- they WASTE it! They will go through years of wrestling with the same problem, over and over- being an addict, or fat and unhappy, or in trouble with the law, or perpetually broke.
While another person with the most horrific circumstances you and I could ever imagine creates a life so successful and inspiring, a life most of us will only ever dream about having.
We need the tough times. We need them like we need air to breathe, and I do believe that subconsciously we will do anything in order to ensure that we get them.
Without any real challenges in your life, challenges that tear at your soul, and force you to fight hard for something, and cause you to question the very fabric of your existence, you have no opportunity to grow, and know your strength.You have no reason to. When I say opportunity, I mean it! The normal, comfortable,” things are ok” times in life aren’t usually those times that bring out the warrior in you, are they? When everything’s maybe not perfect, but pretty allright, you’re not doing things you’d never normally do, you’re not acting in ways that others might call unreasonable, you’re not fueled with passion because you’re in the shit and you’ve got to get out! No- when life is easy, and you’re accustomed to it, you start to put your tiny little power into bullshit stuff, like caring what the neighbors think, for example!
It is only in going through the hard times- and most importantly,coming out the other side!-that we grow in precisely the ways we need to. We start operating from a higher level of confidence, strength, courage, graciousness …as our new normal state of being. This provides us with everything we need to move forward even more, to accomplish those things that once seemed absolutely too difficult or beyond us. To do what we came here to do, fulfill our destinies, if you will.
Take a look at these two people, keeping in mind my theory. First, Oprah. She has reached levels of success and fulfillment and contribution in her life that very few people ever do. She was given the circumstances of truly hard times from the get-go: poverty, sexual abuse, racism, no family support, just to name a few! She could have lived out that story for her whole life, but because she got through to the other side she became the unstoppable force the whole world knows her as today. The qualities she developed in order to claim victory over her circumstances were what made it possible for her to be who she is now.
And now look at another one of my favorite people-Robert Downey Jr. While I don’t claim to be privy to his family and social life growing up, even if it wasn’t all rosy, there’s no comparison to the suffering that Oprah went through. He was born a wealthy white male, in America, to famous parents,with every opportunity he could ask for right from the start. You probably remember the many, many years of wasting time that he put in. Wasting his talents, physical health, relationships. And that made life very hard for him, after a while. As a matter of fact, at one point, the hard times became intolerable to him. We know him know as the highest paid actor in Hollywood, the hardest worker, a man blessed to have found love, and dedicated to his family. The best of the best in many ways.
It was the horror of those hard times, and winning out over them, that propelled him to his success. No-one will dispute that his hard times were self imposed, I’m sure. I’ll take it a step further and say it again. My theory. We need times of immense struggle. They are necessary for our full development as human beings. Without them we are deprived of the opportunity to know just what we are really capable of. DEPRIVED of it.
One way or another, born into them, forced to create them on your own, led and guided to them- it is the nature of life to make sure you are tested with the hard times. What will you choose to do with the opportunity the next time it comes your way?
Speaking of this in terms of human needs makes me think of Tony Robbins and his idea of the 6 human needs-why we do what we do. The link is to a video of his from his podcast. It’s fascinating stuff, and if you’ve never really taken the time to listen to him-you’re missing out. Another of my absolute all time favorite people on the planet, for sure.
Have a listen here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fEwpisUYWG0
You may have heard that saying, attributed to Albert Einstein, about the definition of insanity. It goes something like this, in case it’s new to you: insanity is doing the same things over and over again and expecting a different result.
It’s simple. Everyone can absolutely see the truth in this. Everyone can see, for example, that if you don’t water the garden at all during a hot spell, it will dry up. No matter how many times you try this, it will always dry up. Same approach, same result.
I finally realized this same truth about my efforts to improve the quality of my life a while back. That’s why, when I made the major change of selling my house and had some money to work with, I vowed to do things differently-very differently. Where before I would take the free mini-course, for example, or watch a Youtube video on the subject, I told myself that now I would go to the seminars, take the full course.
Old habits can be hard to break free from, and there were times when I could feel myself resisting this new way of being. What made me follow through was to remind myself. I’d say, out loud, to myself “Lynda, where did doing things the old way get you? Not where you wanted to be. So do this in the exact opposite way!” This commitment to doing things exactly the opposite of how I used to made it much easier to decide upon a course of action when it was time to.
My old m.o. was to figure everything out on my own. I didn’t want too many other people’s ideas in my head and felt like I should have everything I needed inside of me, without some guru telling me how to do things. I didn’t want to spend money on a seminar when money was already in short supply. I’d rather not have to travel and fork out for a hotel and take the time away from my comfortable life….I see now that I just wasn’t willing to do things differently, even for what I said I wanted.
My new m.o. became to learn- learn from people who had achieved more than me, learn new ways of thinking, learn new ways of being and acting. And to pay to get that education too! To stop being so cheap when it came down to my personal development, and be willing to invest the time and money to become better.
In one of the first programs I purchased (and borrowed money to do so!), John Assaraf interviews many highly successful people, and he asks each of them how much money they think they’ve invested in their own personal development over the years. The answers ranged from the hundreds of thousands of dollars to multiple millions of dollars! That made a huge impact on me. I’ve realized lately, after spending my own tens of thousands of dollars on personal development in the past couple of years, that I had just been UNWILLING to spend the time and money before. It had nothing to do with being broke. I was just too lazy, basically, and didn’t see it as a worthwhile expense.
Did I ever miss out by having such a poor attitude! Not anymore, though! In the past six months I’ve been to numerous live events and training sessions, purchased an online Mastermind course about a subject I’m fascinated with and has huge income earning potential, signed up for coaching with a Tony Robbins coach, and hit up the gym with a trainer instead of just on my own. Since I decided to change my approach in this way, I’ve had more new experiences, stretched myself as a person, and enjoyed life more in six months than in the past ten YEARS! It’s true!
All of this happened because I learned from others the value of investing in yourself. Turns out there’s a reason why every outstanding individual on the planet says the same thing.
There are so many ways for you to improve the quality of any part of your life! If you see a little bit of yourself in the old me, I want you to ask yourself-“Has doing things this way given me what I want?” If the answer is no, then you can ask something like “How could I do things differently so I do get what I want?” For me, as I said, the easiest way was absolutely the opposite! If I wouldn’t have spent the money on the course before- I made sure to take the course this time! If I would have signed up for the half day event before, I signed up for the whole thing this time.
Do I regret spending the money? Taking the time away from home to travel? Hell no! Has my life improved immeasurably because of it all? You bet it has. I’m not saying that you need to go to seminars or get coaches or join masterclasses, but you do need to do something differently than you are now if you want things to get better!
I’m including a link here for a Youtube video of John Assaraf, in case he’s new to you. It’s just a short little blurb, but you can get a feel for him and what he’s all about, so check it out!
If you’re ready to finally get the life you really, REALLY want, to change for the better, forever- then have I got the bedtime hack for you.
I’m talking about your brain/mind, and one simple habit that is an incredibly powerful tool.
First, a brief lesson: about 90% of what we humans think and do is all automatically run by our subconscious mind. Automatically. Most of us, most of the time,quite literally aren’t thinking, because that’s all set on auto pilot. We don’t have to think about what we’re doing because once we’ve learned something, and its’ become a habit, our subconscious mind takes over. Otherwise we’d have to relearn everything, all the time, and making progress as an individual or a species would be pretty tough! This is fantastic for a lot of things, like driving, or languages, or any other skill that we need to do repeatedly.
It’s a downfall for other things that we’ve learned, though-like thinking. Yes, the way we think is a learned behaviour. We learned it from everyone around us when we were little and as we grew up. 90% of everything you think of every day is the same old thought as yesterday! Unless….
Unless you decide to change it. Consciously.
Going up against your subconscious mind is a daunting task, and it requires focus and repetition. A lot of people never really do get beyond their old, limiting thoughts and the life they’re living because of them. A lot of people don’t even think it’s possible to change their thought patterns! “That’s just how I am….that’s just how my mind works….”
That’s why I love this exercise so much- it is a way of working with the natural functioning of my subconscious to change my habitual thoughts and the subsequent results I’m living with.
Back to our lesson: it is the job of the subconscious mind to accept whatever information we give it as real, and to align our experience of life with that information as best it can. The subconscious mind cannot tell the difference between a thought you’re thinking that is “real”, or imagined. It treats them all the same, and causes chemical, hormonal, and emotional responses based upon the nature of the thought.
Look at it like this- your thoughts are the same as orders given to your subconscious to carry out. Anything you think about that elicits strong emotions creates a more compelling order, and increases the level of response from your subconscious mind.
Allright, time for the juice! Here is one of the most powerful tools you will ever have in your toolbox regarding getting what you want.
Oh- one last thing to know: sleep is the when the subconscious RULES. Sleep is the kingdom of your subconscious mind. What you impress upon your subconscious right before it takes over operations for the night become the most important orders it will strive to carry out the next day.
Now that you know the science of it, and understand that it’s not just positive thinking fluff, ( that your conscious mind oftentimes rejects!) you’re ready.
Imagine, daydream, think about, create a picture in your mind…of what you want. Pick a thing you want to do, to be, to experience. Just think about it. Just daydream about it, fantasize. Let this thought blossom, and feel how great it feels. That’s it. Let this daydream fill your thoughts as you are drifting off to sleep. Be happy about it.
That’s it. It’s simple, but sometimes it’s not easy. We tend to tarnish our daydreams with thoughts that bring us away from them- thoughts about how we don’t have the thing yet, or aren’t what we want to be yet. You’ve got to block out everything but this little fantasy for 5 or 10 minutes as you’re falling asleep. Treat it as a feel good game.
Do it again, and again. Don’t ever stop with this! What you see in your mind, your mind thinks is real. When your mind thinks a thing is real, it causes you to take actions and do things in such a way to confirm that in the outer world. That’s the big magic of this. Using your imagination right before bed is setting the stage for the following days to produce results that are a part of your daydream.
The greatest minds of the world know this- Einstein, Thomas Edison, Earl Nightingale, whoever wrote the Bible…
You’ve got the life of your dreams to gain, and nothing to lose! Give it a shot, and send me a comment on how it goes!
A friend today was telling me how her and her husband have been looking into buying a different house, and how they’ve been mulling it over for months now, and can’t seem to make up their minds if it’s a good idea or not. I instantly found myself saying “Just make a decision QUICK, like by tonight quick, and know that whatever decision you make you can make right.”
Making decisions quickly, and then working with them is just one of the great ideas I’ve had come into my life since I started studying success and outstanding people. I’m so glad I finally realized the value in listening to, learning from, modeling others. For a very long time I was determined that I had all the answers for me, and didn’t need anyone else’s ideas getting in my way. This, by the way, is the absolute hardest way to go about ANYTHING in life! Leave it to me…
Here are a few more gems that might be absolutely second nature to you, or seem obvious, but for me they were revelations!
1-You can learn absolutely anything. Anything. You can learn character traits, like how to be cheerful, or generous. You can learn how to think differently. You can learn how to be beautiful. You can learn how to create massive wealth. Whatever you want, you can LEARN how to get it. I found this idea of learning to get what I want liberating and empowering. Instead of being hard on myself for not being something or other, I was free to go learn how to be that thing!
2-Parkinsons’ Law. This is the phenomenon of the amount of work taking EXACTLY as long as the amount of time allotted for it. If you give yourself 8 hours to get a job done, it’ll take you 8 hours. Give yourself 3 hours- and it’ll be done in 3.This is a major player in becoming productive at a whole ‘nother level. If you spend an hour responding to emails every morning, give yourself 20 minutes. Believe me, you’ll get it done. Cleaning the house? Same thing. We all know this is true from deadlines we’ve had. Amazingly enough, the project was finished right at the deadline. If that deadline would have been moved up by days- the project would have been finished right at the deadline.
3-Your life determines your values. I learned this from Dr. John Demartini. Look around you in your home. What is prevalent? When I heard this and looked around my house I saw plants, and books about natural health, gardening, the brain…I saw our pets and fruit baskets and organic veggies on the beautiful wood countertops, I saw my computer and my idea books, fitness magazines and workout journals. It is easy to see what a persons’ values really are. Taking that look around my home from that perspective showed me that although I wanted to create more wealth, for example, it quite obviously wasn’t one of my highest values. If it was it would BE somewhere-I would be seeing books about wealth, or investing, for example, out in plain sight.
4-If you do all the same things as someone else, in exactly the same way, with the same consistency- you have to get the same results. Nothing mystifying about it, no room for excuses. Whether or not you will have the discipline to follow through is another story entirely! I really understood this for the first time with bodybuilding in the gym. If I really did train the same way, same exercises, number of sets, number of reps, same intensity, with the same consistency, and fuel my body in the same way- then I would build and shape my muscles just like whoever I was imitating. Want something that someone else has achieved? Do EXACTLY what they did to get it.
And with that I’m going to say goodnight for now. I’m off to sleep in the backyard with Piglet the pig, who still hasn’t set foot in this new place we’re in! If all goes well we’ll be out of here before winter, so she may never ever come into this house. I’ll keep you posted.
Today is June 4, 2018- months and months since I last showed up here. Actually I think the last post I wrote was about moving, and that was in November, so …
I’ve done a lot of new things since then, started some projects, have more in the works, and that’s kind of what this conglomeration thing is all about.
I just put out a book called Fitness with Fatties, and it’s a humorous guide to fitness for total stoners. Now, I originally published that book under a pseudonym-Lisa Marie Whyte (of course there’s a story behind that!), but this week I revised the cover so that the author is Lynda (Lisa Marie Whyte) Knight.
I am right now in the process of putting together a bunch of funny essays from my travelling years and calling that a book, and before the end of the year I’ve promised myself that I will record a comedy album and have it playing on satellite radio.
I’ve got a beautiful childrens’ book on the go, and an informative book about health and fitness and how to achieve it, and a ten week course about feeling good. I want to teach big money investors about cryptocurrency, and how to get going with it, I have some images that I will be putting onto merchandise for the Fitness with Fatties empire, and I’m determined to own three investment properties within the next couple of years.
At the moment, I have this site, a blog where I write whatever comes out of my mouth, a Youtube channel that is completely neglected about personal development, 3 Instagram accounts, a website devoted to stoners, and products ranging from the spiritual to sheer entertainment.
You may be grasping the conglomeration title, right about now.
I’m done with this separation of selves! This, livemorerightnow, is going to be the headquarters for Lynda. Healthy Lynda, mouth like a trucker Lynda, I’m selling t-shirts you want a few? Lynda, personal development Lynda, studying neuroscience Lynda, you name it. Does Adam Sandler condone or live like that character of his- the rock star wanna be dad…-no! He does not. Well actually I don’t know if he does, or is, or not. But hell! Nobody seems to be judging him on it. So I wrote a satirical stoner humor book- why not put my name on it? That doesn’t change or detract from everything else I’ve got going on. It’s only me that I needed to convince- I’m well aware! F*ing mind….
So just a heads up, everyone. I’m multifaceted, and I love it, and it’s all gonna show up here from now on. You can just choose the stuff you like, and leave the rest!
Today I’m thinking of projects, and ideas, and of being the kind of person who follows through on their ideas. Start to finish. Because for a long time I wasn’t that kind of person,and I couldn’t seem to figure out why. It leads to unhappiness, you know, having idea after idea, and bringing so few of them to completion.
Was I just a lazy person at heart? Was I a cynic? Was I really not as bright as I thought, and didn’t have the ability to do these things? None of this, as it turns out. I was just living with a self image that produced this habit, plain and simple.
We all are imprinted with a self image, a paradigm, a set of beliefs, by the time we’re two or three years old. It’s whatever the prevailing ideas and beliefs and circumstances are that surround us when we’re born and are little people, and obviously we have no choice about what those things surrounding us are.
This self image rules the outcome of everything we do. Everything. A person with a losing mindset won’t win even in the best of circumstances, and a person with a winning mindset will always win, no matter what.
Mazwell Maltz says in his fantastic book Psyco Cybernetics that you can not outperform or outrun your self image.
You can’t do that because one of the main functions of the brain is to ensure that your outer world lines up with your inner world. Things have to be congruent with your ideas about them, plain and simple.
So back to me and this habit of not following through on my ideas and bringing them into form. What kind of paradigm (set of beliefs) must I have had to be that kind of person? As I let my mind ponder this, and wander back through different circumstances-times when I had acted upon my ideas and created them, times when I hadn’t- it was easy to see what those beliefs had to be.
In order to be a person brimming with ideas, and then stuffing them back down again, I would have had to think that it wasn’t worthwhile to put in the time and effort to create them! That perhaps it was a futile endeavour, that it would all come to nothing. That I “should” be using my time for something else.
And that’s when the real kicker hit- that I “should” be using my time for something that would MAKE MONEY.
The proverbial lightbulb went on, but it was a bank of lights, like those huge lights powerful enough to light up a stadium.
My mind served up moments from the past when the world around me had counselled me against doing certain things that interested me in favour of something more “practical”. Something that was more mainstream, or that they thought would be more lucrative.
So…if I figured that my old self image was that of a person who didn’t follow through on her ideas and create the things she really wanted to create because she believed it wasn’t worthwhile or worthy….then maybe I should re-examine what meaning I had been giving to the word worthwhile. Of course, somewhere deep inside of me there it was, lurking. Worthwhile endeavours were those that made you money, or made the house cleaner, or got some chore done.
Now I know this isn’t true. I know that a day spent in the company of loved ones having fun is worthwhile! I know that feeding my soul on my morning walks is worthwhile! But somewhere in my brain I had linked up that spending time working on something was only truly a worthy pursuit if it would be financially successful.
That’s why I so often felt like I should be doing something else! That’s why there was that almost unheard little voice, more of a nagging unease actually, telling me to stop wasting my time! Because I felt guilty, wrong somehow.
All it takes to change is awareness. Awareness and practice. The instant I realized what ideas had created such a poor self image (“I guess I’m just the kind of person who doesn’t follow through on their desires”), I knew what I could do to create a more adequate and empowering self image.
I gave a new meaning to what is worthwhile. I gave up on the idea that every project I started had to earn money or it was a waste of time. I began to practice being the kind of person who is creatively prolific, who is keen to see her ideas come to life. That meant doing it now! Taking the images to be scanned to the perfect resolution for the book today, not just sometime in the future. Contacting the IG accounts to give a shout out to the book.
A person who follows through on her ideas KNOWS that they will be brought into form. She knows that all she has to do is take the steps along the way without stopping, and soon enough she will be holding that funny little book in her hands, or plucking those ripe tomatoes from her luscious oasis of a new home.
I couldn’t out perform that old self image, and realizing that freed me from beating myself up about all the times I’d failed. It wasn’t POSSIBLE to win within that framework!
What is possible is to change the framework, and live from a self image that is more realistic, way more than adequate
I am now the kind of person who follows through on her great ideas, from inspired start to glorious finish! I am the kind of person who values my ideas and my desire to create them into being, and I know that the time and energy it takes to do that is absolutely worth it.
I do it because it makes me feel alive and happy, and it is fun. I do it for the thrill of the experience, how one thing leads to another, and another, and then it is the creation making itself, and I get to be along for the ride.
We all get to be whatever kind of person we want to be. Yes, you can change.